Wednesday, March 11, 2009

VIVID 25th Anniversary Party

As my first official "porn party", The Vivid 25th Anniversary Party was a whirlwind. Lynn LeMay, Rachel Love, and I arrived at the Crimson and Opera in Hollywood close to 11pm. I had my thoughts on what an actual adult industry party was going to be like. I look at the pictures on AVN Magazine and XBIZ. Those parties look really cool. They look all fancy and incredibly wild. Porn stars are always smiling in the photos and having a good time. Sometimes they show a boob or two. Sometimes you'll see them with a drink in their hand. Or you'll see two cute new up and coming starlets making out. They're always laughing, drinking, showing off their awards, making some funny faces for the camera. In my mind, the Vivid party was going to be classy. Vivid is one of the pioneers in the adult industry. They're celebrating a milestone. 25 years is a long time. I figured this party was going to be like a big gala. Something flashy, and extravagant. I guess in a sense, I was thinking that the party was gonna be like an Oscar party. Or the SAG awards. I mean, It is Vivid right?

Well...First off, It was a bitch to get in. The dickweed of a bouncer was being a prick and not letting us into the club after informing him that we were on the list. Of course, the bouncer doesn't do shit. We kept telling him that we were confirmed guests and he kept ignoring us. Lynn, Rachel Love, Marcus London, Devon Lee, and I kept waiting for him to let us in. Once Tommy Gunn showed up things got a little better. Tommy kept telling the bouncer to let us in but he was still being a prick. The bouncer finally gave in and let us in. We walked into the club and right when you walk in you're on the "red carpet". I'd never been on a red carpet before. No wait, I lie. Once, I was in Westwood getting sub sandwiches with some of my volleyball team mates back in high school. We happened to walk right across the the red carpet for IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK 2. Back in high school, I was a HUGE Sharon Stone fan. I actually saw her on the red carpet with Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche. That was an exciting moment on a red carpet...

Anywho, back to the red carpet at the Vivid Party. The Vivid Party was the first time I actually walked through a red carpet. This red carpet was a joke. It was super small. It was more like walking on a red floor mat than a red carpet. As we walked through the carpet the photographers were shouting out Lynn and Rachel's names. The lights were incredibly bright on the red carpet. I didn't know where to stand or where to move. I had no doubt in my mind that all the photographers wanted were shots of Lynn and Rachel looking sexxxy on the red carpet. At first, I was thinking of standing with the girls and take pictures with them but people kept walking back and forth in front of the photographers. I decided to get myself away from the madness. I stood away from the carpet and watched Lynn and Rachel get their pictures taken. Once we finally got in the damn club, the night started to get a little entertaining.

When we walked in, the DJ was spinning "The Music Sounds Better with You" by Stardust. That's one of my all time favorite songs! Perfect. After dealing with all that drama with the bouncer I was letting the song get me back into party mode. We head to the bar, grab some over priced drinks (Seriously, 14 bucks for a Makers on the rocks!?!) and start to make our rounds around the bar.

It was nice having Rachel and Lynn around while we were talking to people at the bar. Rachel is a pro at meeting people. She was on it with talking to the people at the bar. It was fun watching her work the room. We would walk to people and she'd just introduce herself like nothing. Lynn and I were following her as she kept meeting and greeting people.

Crimson and Opera is a pretty big club. The place was packed. There was a shitload of people on the dance floor. We made our way to the outside to have a smoke. The inside of the club was super dark. It made it difficult to try and have conversations with people. Once we got outside, I finally had a chance to see people's faces. I was on the hunt for any of the Vivid contract girls or any girl in porn I could find. I didn't see anyone. As we were smoking, I did get a quick glimpse of Stephanie Swift! I think she was wearing a real nice, tight, red dress. I wanted to go up and talk to her but I figured I'd wait till I was ready to start approaching people. Especially people like Stephanie Swift! She's a legend. I figured I'd go up to her and say "Hello" after she got settled on a couch outside but I literally looked away for two seconds and she was gone.

I walked around the club trying to see If I could find any of the Vivid Girls. No luck. I walk back to where Lynn and Rachel were hanging out and I run into Tommy Gun and Marcus London. Tommy and Marcus are the shit. I saw Tommy as I was walking and he called me over to hang out with him and Marcus. I was really excited about meeting Tommy Gunn. Him calling me over, I felt like I'd known the guy for ever. Tommy Gunn has been in the business for a very long time. He is one of the best male performers out there. That man really knows how to give a girl a nice pounding. He even gave me a real big smile and a nice firm handshake when I went over to talk to him. Marcus was super cool too. He was real charming and down to earth. We talked about the latest stuff he's been working on with Tommy. I spent a good amount of time hanging out with Tommy and Marcus. I loved hearing about their new projects. They seemed really excited about all the work they've been doing.

After hanging with the boys, it was time to go find my ladies. Both Rachel and Lynn were busy talking with a bunch of guys outside. As the night progressed, I started to get a little loose after 2 Maker's on the rocks. I wandered around the club still in search of the Vivid Girls. I figured the girls were there early and took off already, they were in a VIP area, or they were hanging out somewhere in some dark corner. They did have clips from upcoming Vivid movies on the big screen TVs at the bar. I end up bumping into Tom Byron as he's taking a picture of himself. I asked him If he wanted me to take a picture of him but he said no. It was cool meeting him. I remember watching him in a bunch of movies my brother and cousins had hidden at our house growing up. I didn't really get to talk to him much until my second encounter with Tom. We talked about some of his new movies. I think I mentioned to him that I liked the way Sasha Grey looked on the cover of Masturbation Nation

Somehow, I end up separating from Rachel and Lynn. I start walking all over the club trying to find someone. I was mostly trying to find Tommy to talk to him but I was slightly buzzed and couldn't find him anywhere. Lynn kept texting me to meet her outside but I was so determined to find Tommy I kept ignoring the texts. Finally, I gave up and headed back outside. At this point it's really late and I really need to find Lynn and Rachel before they both kill me. On my way to the front of the club I run into AVN staff photographer Gia Jordan. It was hard trying to talk to her with all the noise at the bar so she gave me her card. She was really cool to talk to. I wish I coulda talked more but it you could the music is just booming everywhere.

I finally make it outside. Lynn and Rachel are freezing their butts off waiting for my dumb ass. Lynn was sick of me talking about Marcus and Tommy. I couldn't stop raving about them on the way back to the house. It was way to exciting for me meeting such of the best male performers in the porn industry.

The Vivid Party wasn't as I thought it was gonna be. I was expecting stars galore but I really didn't see too much porn elite there. Don't get me wrong, there was plenty of them there, but by the time we got there they must have fizzled out. Maybe earlier in the evening they were sipping on Moet at a booth a la Biggie Smalls "Big Poppa" video. It would be pretty cool seeing Steve Hirsch chilling with his wife in a booth. Smoking a fat cigar, chillin with a bunch of the big industry heads. The Vivid Contract Girls are all sipping on champagne and whispering things in each other's ears. I think I saw Steve very briefly. Like, cameo status. Walking from the bar to god knows where. I feel for a 25th Anniversary Party, it coulda been done a little better. I did have a good time though. Hanging with Tommy and Marcus was definitely one of the highlights of the night.

I can only imagine how the GAYVN Award parties are gonna be...

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