Sunday, January 31, 2010

I slept with Drew Cutler.

Yes Bloggers, porn enthusiast, and all around gay sex pigs and their admirers, I did, indeed, SLEEP with Drew Cutler. Drew Cutler has been in by bed for the past week ever since he did his appearance at Cocktails with the Stars with Rob Romoni. OK, OK, before anyone gets into a panic...I didn't sleep with him. Although having his DVD of a collection of scenes from his work at Suite 703 It sort of felt like we were having a short fling. Every time I'd come to chill on my bed I'd end up finding the box cover close to my pillow or between my legs. :P

I heart Drew Cutler. He's sexxxy as FUCK, has an amazing personality, and always has a way to get my juices flowing. Whether it's his "Arruff's" he grunts or him talking about rimming, Drew is a knockout. I swear, after he started talking about rimming on Twitter all I could think about for a while is rimming Drew. Drew looks like a fun guy in bed. Oh man, I forgot to mention how incredibly sexxxy his deep voice is. Talk about instant boner. I would totally pop a boner listening to Drew read the ingredients in Spam thats how fuckin hot his voice is. :P

Please check out Drew on Suite 703! Also, check out Drew in Chi Chi Larue's PLAYING WITH FIRE 4. Click here for the trailer.



Drew and Rob Romoni at Cocktails with the Stars

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My Mind is playing Tricks on Me.

This is the song that's in my head thanks to @flymrwhite on Twitter. He was listening to this song right before we kicked it in the front yard. I got the song stuck in my head so I went on You Tube looking for the Ghetto Boys song "My Mind is Playing Tricks on Me". As I was looking for the video the thing that caught my eye instantly was Elmo. Thanks to Mr. Cheeks I've seen more of Elmo than I really need. Mr. Cheeks LOVES the "Elmo Song." Whenever I go over to visit Mr. Cheeks we always play that cutsey wootsie song for him. We do it because Mr. Cheeks goes crazy when he see's Elmo. His face literally lights up with excitement. He'll be flailing his arms and laughing hysterically while Elmo plays his piano and sings his song.

I had to click on the Ghetto Puppets (you guyz rule!) video. I was curious as to what it was gonna be like. Fuck man this video is GENIUS. It's fuckin hilarious and made me laugh super hard. Everything about it is funny. I'm so glad I clicked on it. Totally made my day. :P

Friday, January 22, 2010

Whose Fine ass Porn Star Butt is This?

I've been in on a nostalgia kick today. When I get in this mood I go though all the pics and music I have stored on my external hard drive. I have THOUSANDS of photos! I was going though my picture folders and I came across these pics of a porn girls ass from EROTICA LA last year. The funny thing is, I don't remember taking the pics. Then I remembered my nephew and his friends hijacked my camera for a couple of hours so they can roam around the convention floor on their own.

Do any of you know whose luscious, culo this is? I figured it out after a good long look LOL. If you know whose ass this is write it in the comments section. Good Luck!!!! I'll give you a hint: She's blonde. HA! I guess thats not that great of a hint.


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Joining the ADULT MOVIES TODAY XXX Review Team.

I'm very happy and pleased to announce that I'll be doing some xxx reviews for ADULT MOVIES TODAY soon!!! One of my goals for this year was to write more porn reviews and thanks to Adult Movies Today I get my chance! I started chatting it up with @AMToday who on Twitter two days ago after I tweeted about a BBW DVD customer that was giving me shit the other day at work. As we talked about the incident @AMToday asked me if I would like to write reviews for the site and I just couldn't say no.

I think this is gonna be an exciting journey for me. All of you know how much I fuckin love porn. I not only watch porn just to jerk off to it. I watch it and analyze the shit out of it sometimes. Back when I worked at the xxx shops in Santa Barbara I used to bring DVDs home and watch them all the time. I would sometimes watch the movies in the living room while my roommates were home. I didn't care. They all knew where I worked and it wasn't like I was jerking off to them in the while my roommates were home. Well...sometimes I would HAHA!

I wonder what the first DVDs I receive are gonna be!!! I'm getting hard just thinking about it. I will be doing reviews for both Gay and Str8 porn. Best of both worlds MOTHERFUCKERS! I really cant wait to get cracking on the reviews. @AMToday did a vlog review of Adam and Eve's KAYDEN AND ROCCO MAKE A PORNO today. I thought it was a great way to get the review out. I'm planning on doing vlog reviews too! I just have to get myself a fuckin WEBCAM! I also need to get myself a new laptop. My fuckin laptop is ANCIENT!

Perhaps I'll do some vlogs were I jerk off while I'm watching the DVD? Hmmm.....

Thank you so much to Georga at Adult Movies Today for this wonderful opportunity.

I'll let ya know when I get my DVDs!


Monday, January 11, 2010


I'm not surprised Tori Black racked up so many awards at the AVN Awards show this weekend. Tori has been getting much deserved praise since she started out in the adult industry. From the moment I saw her on box covers at work I knew Tori was gonna be something HOT and refreshing in porn. I've been a big admirer of Tori for the longest time and I had a sinking feeling in my gut and loins that Tori was gonna be a sensation at the AVN Awards Show.

"Fuck Yeah Tori won Female Performer of the Year!" Was what I blurted out early Sunday Morning. When I saw the pics of Tori at the awards show with that big, irresistible smile of hers I grinned. I could see the happiness and the joy on her beautiful face. It was Tori's night that night and she deserved every second of it. it makes me happy that people in the adult industry that I love and admire get recognized for all that they do in the industry. Tori Black is a person that makes me smile. A lot. I love being able to talk about how incredible she is to customers at Adult Factory Outlet and talking about her to all my friends. I love telling all my str8 guy friends about her. Whenever a new Tori Black film is out one of the guys from the Warehouse always tells me about it before he tells anyone else.

It was exciting watching Tori dominate the adult industry in 2009. It's gonna be fun seeing whats next for Tori Black. Right now, I'm gonna keep spreading the word out about Tori Black!

Oh yeah, I gotta fuckin get my PORN STAR WORKOUT DVD back from my buddy Dave. I let him borrow it and he still hasn't given it back to me! It's signed by Tori too. UGH!!!!

Tori Black is the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt!!!!

Here's a list of links to find out more about Tori Black

Tori's Twitter page
Tori's website


Thursday, January 7, 2010

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Sexxx Toy Shopping

Today I spent the majority of the day toy shopping. We desperately needed some cock rings for our cock ring wall. Since they were doing more construction in the DVD room I jumped at the chance to go next door to the warehouse and grab some sexxx toys! I LOVE going toy shopping. It's one of the best things to do at work. I spent a good 4 hours going through aisle after aisle of dongs, vibrators, pocket pussies, and every other thing you can stick in your orifices. i take my time when I'm looking for new toys. There is so much fuckin shit in the warehouse it takes a good chunk of time going through the long aisles.

What's cool about sexxx toy shopping is that you end up grabbing stuff that wasn't even on the list. I grabbed a bunch of lubes and magazinr packs that we needed for the store as well. Whenever I cruise through the magazine section I take a few minutes and browse through all the Buttman Magazines. I swear, Buttman Magazine is an ass man (like me) DREAM! Some of those pics with the porn girls with huge asses is AMAZING. I can stare at the pics in those magazines for hours if I had the chance. i grabbed a bunch of Gay, Tranny, Playboy, and Buttman Magazine packs for the store. Those magazines sell fast!

Sometimes, When I grab some of the stuff for the store I wanna test ALL OF THEM OUT! Like, I would would love to run around nekkid in the warehouse fucking all the male masturbarors, playing with the cock rings and and shoving dongs up my but. All at the same time. Haha, well, not really. But the thought does come across from time to time. People can get lost in that warehouse. There is so much shit you'll go cross eyed. The warehouse is a nymphomaniacs dream!!!


Monday, January 4, 2010

10 Goals for 2010


Yes, It's the start of a year, decade, and era for yours truly. I am thrilled that the 00's are over. I had some good times, rough times, sexy times, and pretty much all sorts of crazy ass shit happened in this 10 years. Now that I'm a bit older and wiser, I can look at this year and decade as something that is gonna completely change my life. I've been a butthead lately by neglecting my blog and shit. The last time I posted was a MONTH AGO! What kind of fuckin shit is that? I started this blog to chronicle my life and times in and out of porn but I haven't been DEDICATED! So 2010, this is the year where things are gonna CHANGE GOD DAMN IT!!!!

The other day I went on a Super Wal-Mart trip and I bought myself a new "PORNOtebook", and a Dry Erase Board. I love Dry Erase Boards. I love then because they are easy to maintain, they are fun to draw on, Friends write the most stupidest shit on them, and the smell of the markers is pretty rad. I got the dry erase because When I'm in my room pacing around nekkid trying to get my ideas down I need something quick and easy I can run to and jot shit down. I also like to have the dry erase board because when I write my idea it will be staring at me in the face whenever I wake up. Now that I put the board up on my Walls-O-Porn, I wrote down 10 goals for 2010. I wrote these spur of the moment cuz I was excited to get something written on all that white space. These are only 10 of the many goals I have for myself this year! we go...


Yes, Porn. Script. Now I know some people out there in Pornolandia are thinking "Do Porn movies really have a script?" or "It's people fucking why is there a script?" Yes. SOME porn companies do follow scripts. I am also a writer by trade so its high time that I write down all the filthy, nasty, insanely sexxxy things I want filmed. I remember a porn producer/performer complaining about having to write a 30 page porn script. If 30 pages constitutes a porn script then I should be able to write 30+ pages of porn with the quickness. Shit, I have theatrical plays that are 100+ pages. 30 pages is a fuckin cake walk. So yeah, I'm gonna be working on all kinds of porn scripts. I wanna write porn scripts for all spectrum of porn. Since the porn parodies seem to be dominating the Adult Industry right now I'm gonna join ridiculous bandwagon and come up with some bomb ass shit. I have soooo many cool things in the works I can't wait to share it with all of you.


I've been working for quite some time on writing a screenplay based on my life in the adult industry. The whole month of December was my brainstorming month for my screenplay. I jotted down all the madness this screenplay is gonna have in my notes and now its time to start cranking out the pages! My goal for this month is to write 30 pages (haha) by the end of the month. If I write more, then FUCK YEAH! But for now, 30 pages is a good chunk of a screenplay but you know what my peeps, I'm gonna fuckin DO THIS! I swear to you I will have 30 pages by the end of the month. If I don't I dunno, I'll post a pic of me choking on cock or cutting my nuts of or something for punishment.


Mmm Hmmm. I'm gonna go back to the gym and WORK THE FUCK OUT! Fuck man, I'm tired of watching me belly get bigger and bigger. Not that it's getting insanely huge, I'm just noticing I'm getting a little plumper. Maybe it's because I sit around and feel sorry for myself and do NOTHING about it. I KNOW I can get into shape quick. I just need the MOTIVATION and the DEDICATION! I'm the type of person that wants to see results right AWAY! I know that working out takes patience and concentration. Well my friends, this is the year. I'm tired of having itty biddy flat titties. I'm tired of having a lil belly. I wanna be toned and sexxxy! I aint that bad now but I know if I continue on this path shit aint gonna happen.


I'm doing that right now thank god.


Yes, I am in debt. Well, its mostly debt from school but I wanna be out of debt ASAP. I'm maybe less than 30K in debt. It's not that bad compared to some of my other colleagues that are in the same boat I am but with like 100K in debt. I wanna pay off my school loans sooo fuckin bad. I just wanna wake up one day and not have to worry about paying off my school loans. Once that day happens, I will be one of the happiest motherfuckers on the planet. Until then, I gotta face it and get myself out of this debt hole!!!!


Yup, I'm gonna do it. My post might be a long post with several details of my pornographic life or it could be a picture of something cool or random I came across. I started a blog for a reason and if I can't keep up with it whats the fuckin point? I gotta figure out how to do mobile blogging. That shit would help. I want to be like one of my blogging heroes Jeremy Feist. That sexxxy Canadian hottie can mothafuckin blog and blog good! :P


I have a shitload of porn. I need to watch it all and review it. I've only written one porn review for this site and that is fuckin pathetic. I have a stack of porn that I need to go through and write reviews. I wanna be able to write a bunch of reviews so I can promote all the adult stars and porn companies that I love and admire. Plus, I get to jerk off and write notes while I watch the films. HAHA how cool is that? :P


Hey, it can happen. You never know. That shit would be pretty dope if it did though right?


Emma is my beloved pit bull who I love with all my heart. Its unfortunate I can't have her living with me at my house. I'm incredibly lucky to have my sister Gloria taking care of her up in Frazier Park. If it were up to me Emma would be chillin in bed with me resting her big head on my legs while I blog. Emma has been such a positive influence in my life. To not have her with me hurts really bad. I also had a nightmare recently where I was on a beach with Emma and after a while I couldn't find her anywhere on the beach. That nightmare made me feel totally helpless and it made me realize how much I NEED my Emma in my life. I'll have Emma once I make my million dollars this year and can afford to get my own place. :P


Plain and simple. I'm tired of sitting around and not making shit happen. It's lame and pathetic. I'm done waiting.

So 2010, I'm so glad you're hear. You've been the wake up call I've needed for a long time. I'm looking forward to see what you got in store for me.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P