Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Kylie Minogue Saved My Life!

As most of you know by now I am no longer living in the San Fernando Valley. I have become a full on San Francisco resident and I'm LOVING every single waking moment of it. Pornolandia has up and relocated to the fast paced, sassy streets of Frisco. It's been quite a turbulent journey but it was definitely necessary for me to get me out of the FUNK that I was feeling back in Porn Valley.

But lets get to the actual topic I want to talk about. Lets get to talking about Kylie Minogue and how she saved my life. I'm a big Kylie Minogue fan. Thanks to my tranny cousin Josephine I got introduced to the pop power force that is Kylie Minogue. Kylie wasn't a big smash in America until her deliiiiiicious FEVER album hit the airwaves with the massive smash 1st single CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD. Once her FEVER album took off I started to follow her career and music a lot more thoroughly. This year, Kylie came out with her 11th studio album APHRODITE and lemme tell ya, this absolute fun and delightful album was a SALVATION for me here in SF.

It all started Folsom weekend. I don't have much albums on my iTunes on my crappy laptop and I was sick of listening to the same shit I have on my ipod. I remembered that I had recently added APHRODITE to my iTunes library and figured it would be something fun to listen to while I was having some downtime in my hotel room or getting ready to go out. I hadn't really given APHRODITE a good listen when I first got the album. I mostly listened to it when I was in my tranny cousins car when we'd be going out to West Hollywood. While my buddy Jeremy Feist and I were getting ready for the Folsom St. Fair I had mentioned how I LOVED Kylie's new album. We started talking about how fun the album is so we started to listen to it. I kept playing the song GET OUT OF MY WAY while getting ready and Jeremy commented on how he was gonna have that song stuck in his head the rest of the day.

After Folsom St Fair came to a close it was time I started getting serious about making the move to San Francisco. I had a flight back to LA on Monday October 4th. I called Virgin America the that morning to inform them that I wasn't gonna be on the plane and the guy had THE NERVE to try and charge me for not going on the flight. HELL. THE. FUCK. NO. At that point, I reached a boiling point where I didn't give a fuck what the next hateful angry words I was going to say. I just went off. I basically told the guy to shove the 75 dollar "not getting on the plane" charge straight up his fuckin ass. I told him how he should be GRATEFUL that I fuckin called Virgin America and informed them that I wasn't gonna be on the plane. I told him how I didn't have SHIT for money and that him charging me 75 bucks for not showing up on the plane was gonna fuck my shit over. I had to let it out. I was so fuckin frustrated/scared/exhausted/stoned/hung over that I didn't give a FUCK anymore.

He eventually caved in and didn't charge me for anything. THANK GOD cuz I sure as hell needed whatever money I have to keep me ALIVE. I needed to calm down so I just started blasting Kylie Minogue's APHRODITE and it calmed me down. It brought me back to earth. Seriously, who the fuck can be in a pissed off mood when Kylie Minogue is playing. Her music makes me happy. Kylie's music is like a lifetime supply of all the candy you've ever loved in your life. It's delicious. It's flirty. It's fun. It's sexy. All these things are exactly what APHRODITE is. A never ending, pulsating, happy, peppy, hotsy, totsy, popsy eargasm. This album is meant to be played at maximum volume. Seriously. Kylie's APHRODITE album sticks to you. It engulfs you. It sooths you. It makes you want to be with your best friend jumping up and down hysterically on the dance floor laughing your ass off flailing your arms left and right when Kylie commands it on her deliiiiiiiiciously hypnotic jam PUT YOUR HANDS UP (IF YOU FEEL LOVE). I guarantee you, when you listen to this album and let it seduce you with its amazing synth pop beats and Kylie's bouncy fun voice you'll remember the time and place you got your first taste of this pop gem. For me, its a reminder of the guy I made out and danced with at The Lookout when ALL THE LOVERS played. It reminds me of a hot guy I made mad passionate love to when GET OUT OF MY WAY was playing from my laptop in the background. It reminds me of driving across the Bay Bridge with my BFF Honey and losing myself in the majestic beauty that is San Francisco when EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL plays.

Everything is Beautiful in San Francisco....

APHRODITE is a salvation for me. Up and moving to SF has been one of the most challenging and grueling experiences of my life. Whenever I felt like I was gonna break down and ready to give up I would find myself going to APHRODITE and letting its message of love and empowerment run through my veins and keeping a big fuckin smile on my face. This album saved me from letting shit get to me. It soothed me. I would wake up in the morning and start my day by listening to GET OUT OF MY WAY. Feeling absolute bliss knowing that I was out in beautiful San Francisco and letting Kylie's music just fill me up with tremendous positivity. This album saved my life because there have been moments that I'm here in San Francisco scared as all hell as to what the future is gonna bring. One day, before meeting up with a friend of mine I was sitting in Union Square and I was listening to APHRODITE and I got so fuckin emotional that I started crying my eyes out. I was crying of unbelievable happiness. I observed all the commotion of all the beautiful people walking all over the city and it just moved me.

Kylie's APHRODITE'S album gives me motivation to deal with all the struggles and hardships I am still going through as I make the transition to living up here in the Bay Area. I owe so much of my sanity to Kylie's beautiful album. This album is absolutely incredible and I highly recommend it to anyone who is in need of a boost of pop perfection. Thank you Kylie Minogue for making one of the best albums of your amazing career. I thank the Gods every damn day that I listen to Kylie's APHRODITE album. You will too. I promise you.

So put you HANDS UP...If you FEEL LOVE toniiiiiiigggghhhhht......



  1. Beautiful post! Kylie always lifts my spirits up! Being the doll that you are, you deserve all the happiness and joy that comes your way!

    Couple of things I have to mention:

    PLEASE don't call it Frisco! Us natives loathe that term!
    Kylie actually had a Top 20 hit in the 80's with Locomotion- very catchy be-boppy pop tune!

  2. Me alegra saber que has descubierto a Kylie, es una gran persona y cantante. Todas las mañanas me hace sentir vivo.