Nikki Benzapolooza

Dear Nikki Benz,

Thank you for coming to San Francisco last week. Your feature dance gig at the Crazy Horse was UNFORGETTABLE! This past Saturday night was one of THE BEST nights I have spent in San Francisco since I moved up here and it is ALWAYS a pleasure seeing you rock that fuckin stage like a TRUE FUCKING PIMP! Oh yeah, thank you thank you THANK YOU for getting me out of my writing funk. It's always a great feeling getting that burst of writing energy and I have YOU to thank!

Nikki Benz, one of the most popular and recognizable faces in the adult industry did a three day feature dancing extravaganza last week and I was lucky enough to check out the final show this past Saturday. I found out that Nikki was going to be in the city about a month or so before she was going to come up here and once I found out I KNEW that I couldn't miss it. Last time I saw Nikki was in November when she feature danced at the Hustler Club. Click HERE to check out my first encounter with Nikki.

Once I knew that it was going to be the Crazy Horse that Nikki was feature dancing I was like....FUCK YEAH! It's gonna be waaaaayyyyy totally different that what she did at the Hustler Club. The Hustler Club has some rules that the feature dancers have to abide by. The Crazy Horse? Nah. Hardly ANY restrictions. Which, in my opinion, is a much better experience....well....until young drunk douchebags get outta hand....we'll get to that in a second. Lets get back to Nikki Benz.

Nikki Benz has had an INCREDIBLE year. Not only is she one of the most followed adult stars on Twitter (100,000+ now....deaaaamn) she's been getting much more mainstream attention with her continued presence in Fox Sports CUBED AND being the 2011 Penthouse Pet of the Year! That’s pretty damn good! Nikki definitely deserves all the respect and attention she is getting because this stunning Canadian KNOCKOUT has only begun to run both the adult and mainstream industries. I mean seriously, Nikki has a legion of devoted fans called the “Benz Mafia”. How fuckin RAD is that?


All day Saturday I was looking forward to seeing Nikki Benz. So excited, that I decided to take pics of Nikki Benz’s Penthouse Pet of the Year issue all over San Francisco. Well, not really all over the city. I mostly took pics of the magazine of some of the sites I see on a day to day basis when I head to work from the Tenderloin.





The looks I was getting from people who witnessed me taking pictures of the magazine all over town was hysterical. I mostly got people walking past me real slowly when I was taking pictures. Honestly, I didn’t give a fuck what people were thinking of what I was doing. It wasn’t like I was showing the content from inside the magazine. Plus, this is fuckin SAN FRANCISCO. People have seen worse things than what I was doing.







While at work I was counting down the hours until I was off so I can rush to check out Nikki’s first show. While checking Nikki’s twitter feed she had tweeted that she really wanted a lollipop. At work, we sell penis shaped lollipops with that are cleverly named “Lollicocks”. I tweeted Nikki back and told her that I was going to bring her a Lollicock from my work. I looked at all the Lollicocks and decided to go with the watermelon flavor.



Once I was off work I rushed my ass home with a watermelon Lollicock and a rose for Nikki. I was already in party mode. I got home, took a quick shower, and immediately started to get my drink on. I had remembered that we had some Vodka left over in the freezer so I started pounding shots while I got dressed. I HATE walking into a strip club sober. It's like one of the WORST things to do. When you go to a stripclub you wanna start off with a nice buzz. You don't have to be flat out hammered. Just...you know...a couple of shots here and there and then you're all warmed up ready to go! After about six shots (I was buzzed) I was ready to head to the Crazy Horse. I LOVE the fact that I only live a couple of blocks away from the Crazy Horse. it didn't take me long to get to the venue since I was pretty much power strolling my way down there.

Once I got to the Crazy Horse I could feel the effects of the six shots. I was also light headed from walking so fast which added to my buzz. There was no hassle at the door when I showed up with my gifts for Nikki and all my Nikki Benz shwag I wanted to get signed. The set up of the Crazy Horse is what I envisioned a stip club from 1972 would look like. It's not a bad thing. I kinda dug all the bright silver streams hanging from the walls and all the silver stars all over the place. There is a catwalk stage with two poles at the beginning of the catwalk. There are movie theater like seats that surround the catwalk. The place was pretty packed. I couldn't really find a place to sit in the front row so I sat close to the end of the catwalk. Once the DJ announced that Nikki was about to take the stage I was pretty much yelling at the top of my lungs!!!

Then.....BOOM! Out comes Nikki wearing a CUTE sailor girl outfit. The crowd at first was pretty quiet but then I started to hoot and holler as loud as I could to get the crowd riled up. It worked for a bit (thanks to the DJ too) and the crowd started cheering and clapping loudly. Nikki glided and moved seductively all down the catwalk. Dudes were surrendering their money with no hesitation as Nikki flirted with a bunch of the dudes in the front row and MAN there were LOVING it because they were DEFINITELY making it rain all over Nikki. Nikki was getting closer and closer to my section and my smile and grin was getting bigger and bigger. As Nikki made it to the end of the stage and our eyes met she gave me the most CUTEST smile and pretty much stopped dancing to come and give me a hug and a kiss. It was AWESOME! We chatted for a bit while she was on stage and then she continued to rock the fucking catwalk. Nikki made her way up and down the catwalk seducing the audience with her incredibly moves and oh my fuckin GOD...her body....WOW! Nikki made her way back towards me and I handed her the rose I got her AND the Lollicock. Nikki got so excited when she saw the Lollicock. Nikki struggled a bit while trying to get the wrapper off the Lollicock so she handed it to me. I was like.....SHIT! GET THIS FUCKING THING OPEN! Wouldn't you know it I started struggling with freeing the lollicock from its wrapper!!! FINALLY, I got the god damn wrapper off and handed the Lollicock to Nikki. Nikki then walked away and started to seductively suck on the Lollicock. All of a sudden....I hear Nikki shout out from the catwalk "Oh my GOD...Watermelon! I love it! How did you know I loved Watermelon?" Before I could give her an answer Nikki yells out "I fuckin LOVE YOU!" Then, she starts to continue sucking on the Lollicock and driving all the dudes CRAZY. The crowd woke up watching Nikki suck and tongue the Lollicock. THEN...Nikki comes back towards where I'm sitting, gets off the stage, grinds on me (NAKED) and puts the Lollicock right up to my lips!!! I look at the Lollicock, look over at Nikki, then...well............We start LICKING THE LOLLICOCK TOGETHER! THE CROWD WENT HYSTERICAL! I was in HEAVEN. The roar of the crowd mixed in with me getting down with Nikki was beyond belief. Seriously, one of the BEST experiences I've had at a strip club.

Nikki and the Lollicock

After Nikki was done with her show I waited around to see her and give her props on an amazing show. Nikki came out and greeted the crowd as she walked to the area where she was going to do her meet and greet with her fans. Nikki and Ryan (an awesome dude btw) saw me standing by and Nikki immediately gave me a hug and kiss and asked me to come in and hang out with her while she sets up. I went in and watched Nikki get herself situated. I sat and was able to hang out while Nikki was meeting the fans. Nikki is always so enthusiastic and so inviting when it comes to the fans. Nikki had no hesitations in signing stuff for her fans and chatting with them. It's always cool watching the variety of fans that come and check out adult film stars. Some of the fans that were there for the meet and greet were telling Nikki that they came out all the way from Hawaii to come and check her out. I wouldn't doubt it. There are some hardcore fans out there. It's really cute when straight couples would come in and conversate with Nikki. There was a really cute couple that were so giddy being around Nikki's presence. Shit, I felt the same way I just managed to handle it a lot better. Oh man, I LOVED it when some of Nikki's HOT dude fans would come up to meet her. The way she made those dudes blush made me giggle. I LOVE witnessing straight dudes blush due to beautiful women. It's like...they become vulnerable little puppies. One of the fans was a totally CREEP though and started taking pics of Nikki signing his 8X10s. Nikki kept her cool about this and had Ryan delete all the photos that the creepy fan took. I fuckin HATE it when dudes bust shit like this. C'mon guys...all you creepy fans out there....CHILL THE FUCK OUT man. Nikki handled the situation with grace and even continued to sign 8X10s for the dude. Nikki explained to me that guys bust bullshit like that all the time at conventions and signings. I wouldn't doubt it. After Nikki was done with all the fans she signed a bunch of my stuff! Actually, Nikki was signing my stuff throughout the whole meet and greet but every time she would get to my stuff a fan would walk in and she'd have to stop and get ready for the next fan. It was cute watching Nikki get ready to introduce herself to the fans.

Here are some of the pics I got to take with Nikki after she was done with all the fans.

FUCK YEAH!!!

PIMP!!!

Nikki's second show was pretty damn sexy. Nikki came out in a mafia wife outfit that fit her PERFECTLY. By this time the club was PACKED and I didn't get a chance to sit anywhere near the catwalk. Instead, I stood by the back and witnessed some hot rugby players from New Zealand try and spit game at some of the strippers at the club. One of the big buff rugby players kept saying that he was about to get into the Brazil Olympics and that he had his manager with him that was going to pay for a bunch of lap dances. He also kept telling this stripper that he wanted to have a big after party at his hotel room and that he wanted as many girls to come and chill with him. The stripper could see through his bull. I then focused most of my attention towards Nikki.

Nikki Benz's invasion of San Francisco was a highlight for me this month. It was incredible being able to talk about the adult industry and swap stories with Nikki. To me, she truly is an inspiration. Being around her I get such surges of creative energy flowing through me. I like that feeling. I briefly got to talk about an XXX parody I have been working on with Nikki as the star of the project. Getting to see her feature dance again truly solidifies my vision and helps a great deal with getting me back into finishing up my project. If Nikki Benz comes to your city.....GO SEE HER! I'm telling you...it is a guaranteed good show!!!

Oh yeah, to that fuckin DOUCHEBAG who slapped Nikki on the butt at the end of her second show.........CHOKE ON A FUCKIN DICK YOU MORON! RESPECT the dancer and keep your FUCKING PAWS OFF! I swear, I wanted to PUNCH THE FUCK OUT OF HIM for doing such an idiotic thing.

Check out Nikki's official website HERE
Check out Nikki's antics on Twitter HERE

BENZ MAFIA BITCHES!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D